Thelma Bond was devoted to her two daughters and four grandchildren. An attractive woman with dark hair and happy hazel eyes, she was enjoying her retirement after working 20 years for the Thousand Island Central School system as a registered nurse. Every weekday she met with her pals at a local restaurant in Clayton for coffee. The "coffee club" included 10 retired or non-working women who met to share stories, laughs and each other's company. Life was wonderful until February 1993, a little more than two years after she retired, when she had a mastectomy and was diagnosed with advanced breast cancer.

"Being a nurse, Mom knew the odds were against her, but she didn't give up," stated her daughter Karyl Irvine, who works for the Department of Transportation in Watertown. "She fought the cancer for four long years with chemotherapy and radiation treatments." Karyl, her daughter Marci and Thelma traveled the State going from doctor to doctor and spent many hours in the car during that time. Karyl recalled how special those times were. "We laughed, cried, reminisced-and talked about death and how much we would miss her." Karyl said those talks were difficult, but she feels very lucky to have had the kind of relationship where the family could talk so openly.

When Karyl's Dad passed away almost 20 years ago, Karyl, her husband Richard and daughter Marci went to live with Thelma. Thelma and granddaughter Marci, who is now 21, were particularly close. When Thelma learned that doctors were giving her five years, she asked Karyl if she could die at home surrounded by those she loved. But, according to Karyl, Thelma didn't want to be a burden to the family and she was afraid of dying and being in pain.

In December 1996 Karyl and her family turned to a SEFA-supported service that enabled them to grant Thelma her wish. "The purpose of such organizations is to provide care that will enhance the quality of the remaining life for those who are facing a terminal illness," said Karyl. "They provide support and care for people in the last phases of an incurable disease so that they can live as fully and comfortably as possible. The patient and the family can spend their remaining time in a manner that is meaningful to them. It helps many experience the transition to death with dignity and love. You never know when you or your loved ones may need such help," said Karyl. "But you do know that by contributing to SEFA you can help someone who does."

Left to right-Thelma, Marci and Karyl share a special time.